Friday, August 30, 2013

My American And Texan Citizenship Restored

Why does the eagle so seldom face left?
Both were suspended due to my failure to drive a motor vehicle or keep one in working condition for a period of over eight months. Yesterday, I got a new battery (no loss there; the old one was already marginal before I entered the hospital in December); today, I gave my car a much-needed oil change and had a burned-out brake light replaced. I drove from the repair place directly to an utterly institutional fast-food eatery (extra credit toward restored citizenship?) and treated myself to a foot-long veggies-and-cheese sandwich (I know; I'm pushing it with that one, but Stella doesn't like the food there) as a sort of welcome-home treat.

So now I'm once again American, at least until the first time I try to vote in a general election after my voter card is stamped "Voted Democratic Primary" and I cold-cock the mofo who tries to stop me...
Posted by Steve Bates at 2:31 PM
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2 comments:

  1. ellroonSeptember 1, 2013 at 1:16 AM

    How wonderful to celebrate your hard won freedom with a delicious meal.

    Does your new foot hinder your driving? Did you have to modify the car?

    And if you cold-cock any mofos, take a video of it and put it up on YouTube as inspiration....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Steve BatesSeptember 1, 2013 at 1:41 PM

      ellroon, I realized to my horror when I posted this that my celebratory lunch was on the first day of the fast-food workers' strike, something I had intended to observe. Too late now...

      Wearing the prosthesis while driving is much like wearing the orthotic boot was for a couple of years. I work the accelerator with my right hand and the brake with my left foot, just as I did prior to the amputation. I don't actually use the prosthesis at all when I drive; I suppose I could (though it's a little too long), but given my familiar solution works, I'll stick with that.

      Cold-cocking mofos, though it may be very satisfying, is liable to be seen as road rage, and I don't want to create opportunities for my being stopped by the cops. But I can't say I won't do it if someone sets out to prevent me from voting...

      Delete

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