Friday, March 29, 2013

Shake A Leg! Or... When Life Hands You Lemons...

Fascinating, as Spock will someday say. This was a first-ever experience for me.

MetroLift hires large cabs for short-distance local runs. They're sort of like a bus with only five seats, and I presume they're more fuel-efficient than the small buses used on larger or more distant runs, so it makes sense to subsidize a willing cabbie to carry five people to several nearby destinations.

The one that arrived at TIRR Kirby Glen to pick me up (late, of course) was jam-packed with people. One seat, middle row right, remained vacant, so I began hefting myself into it. Unfortunately, front seat right was occupied by an absolutely imMENSE person. I could not get in; there was no room for my legs. I asked the immense person (I couldn't tell their sex from my viewpoint) to move his/her seat forward; s/he accommodated politely without complaint. I still couldn't get in. The driver checked whether my seat could be moved back; the answer: no.

I looked at the driver and the other passengers, decided they'd seen it all, and muttered, "I have an idea." I pushed the button that releases the pin on my prosthesis, reached down and... yes... took off my leg. I set the prosthesis between my knees, put on my seatbelt, and away we went. No one uttered a sound. Obviously those people had in fact seen it all already.

The moral of the story is this: if you're desperate to climb aboard a packed public conveyance, have an amputation. There might just be room for you if you board the vehicle a piece at a time.


When life hands you lemons, make lemonade... in your hollow leg!


  1. Reminds me of playing with Legos... popping off various parts to fit. Excellent man, you are creative as well as diligent. May you quickly learn to drive with your new foot, so you won't have to jam yourself into a van by removing your limbs....

    1. ellroon, Legos are a marvel in themselves. E.g., google "lego harpsichord" and follow the first link... apparently, based on the offered recording, the damned thing can even be played, though it sounds awful.

      There was some satisfaction in popping off my leg to board the van. Were I a whole person, I couldn't have traveled on that van. And "the next MetroLift" is a sort of mythical beast; you might see one, or you might not.

      Hope that I can drive soon? That I do, and also that Stella can drive soon. Two people in one household, neither of whom can drive, is two people too many.



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