Monday, June 4, 2012

Seamus's Story

Of all the Romney stories told and to be told, the one that struck me most deeply was the one of the Romney family Irish Setter, Seamus, who was strapped in his carrier on the roof of the family station wagon on their 1983 vacation trip from Massachusetts to Beach O' Pines, Ontario. According to the wiki, some concluded that Seamus suffered excessive air pressure on his head, and the president of PETA (never an organization to shy away from making a strong statement), called it animal cruelty and torture.

In any case, back in the day, before my career as a blogger, when I was writing mainly for friends' amusement, I was able to obtain an interview with Seamus. Without further ado...

Interview with Seamus,
The Romneys' Dog, 1983

The Romneys are packed for their yearly vacation,
Their wagon is bound for a neighboring nation,
Stuffed full. What of Seamus? Now what is his station?

    ROOF! - ROOF! - ROOF!

So Seamus, you rode on the roof of the wagon?
At eighty per hour, the wind had you gaggin'?
So what did it feel like... they're shaggin', you're draggin'?


To ride on the roof while your daddy and mummy
Sit cozy inside... why, how thoroughly bummy!
Say, Seamus, that surely was hard on the tummy?


Vacation the next year; last summer's behind him,
And where is old Seamus... you think Mitt can find him?
Oh... what's with the rope, Seamus? where will you bind him?

    ROOF! - ROOF! - ROOF!

- Steve Bates

Seamus is no longer in the land of the living. But Mittens lives on. Life isn't fair, is it?


  1. According to Mormonism Seamus lives as a god on his own planet now.

  2. k, I try not to think too hard about Mormonism if I can help it. There was a very thorough article in Harper's a few months ago when Mitt was one of many candidates; I'm working my way through it.

  3. Mad, thank you! This past week, for some reason, felt almost like "the old days," when I had an inclination to produce a steady stream of doggerel. Maybe that is a good sign of things to come.



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