Saturday, January 2, 2010

Show Your 'Nads For Security

Via WaPo, we learn that former DHS secretary Michael Chertoff really wants airport security guards to see all air passengers in graphic detail:

Ex-Homeland Security chief head said to abuse public trust by touting body scanners

By Kimberly Kindy
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, January 1, 2010

Since the attempted bombing of a U.S. airliner on Christmas Day, former Homeland Security secretary Michael Chertoff has given dozens of media interviews touting the need for the federal government to buy more full-body scanners for airports.

What he has made little mention of is that the Chertoff Group, his security consulting agency, includes a client that manufactures the machines. The relationship drew attention after Chertoff disclosed it on a CNN program Wednesday, in response to a question.

An airport passengers' rights group on Thursday criticized Chertoff, who left office less than a year ago, for using his former government credentials to advocate for a product that benefits his clients.

 Ooooh, yeah. The responses practically write themselves, don't they?

  • A clever male passenger might use plastic creativity to display an immense member in the full body scan (that is, if he were willing to risk jail, and I think it might almost be worth it);
  • A woman might superpose a dollar sign in three strategic places (again with the caveat about jail time);
  • A particularly clever hacker might manage to load some replacement of the displayed image, say, an effectively naked image of Michael Chertoff;
Add your own ideas... this is fun and not difficult, if you wave away technological and legal difficulties.

If a passenger decided to traverse the security frame naked, a lot of narrow-minded right wingnuts would object vociferously that exposing oneself is against the law. One wonders if they distinguish the difference between someone standing facing the open outer front door of his home, wearing what he was born with, and someone else staring in through a window of the same house at that same man naked in the shower. Is that such a difficult distinction?

"Those that would trade a little privacy for a few TSA employees' getting their jollies in a day's work and a security consulting corp raking in millions in taxpayers' bucks shall lose both their privacy and their tax dollars, and deserve neither." Isn't that what the venerable Benjamin Franklin said?


  1. I've thought of printing FUCK YOU either in paint or bandaids on my body...

    But sadly, I haven't flown in years and don't have anything planned in the near future...

  2. ellroon, that's a wonderful thought. As for me, I can't really afford to fly anymore, let alone stir up that kind of trouble. Too bad; I'm certainly of an age and of a mind to do so...

  3. And Chertoff has what percentage a share in the client company that builds these scanners, I wonder...

    I suppose you could try something more patriotic in respnse Steve - write Don't tread on me on your body in a way that ti will be visible to the scanner!

  4. jams - or maybe, considering America's weight problem, "Don't spread on me!"

  5. chertoff... naked... thanks for that image [not].

  6. Sorry about the image, hipparchia, but while I'm here, thanks for linking that 2006 Molly Ivins zinger that serves as my banner quote at the moment. As in the old blog, the quote will change from time to time. You really are great at archiving stuff that will be significant someday (I wish I did that, but it's just not in my nature); perhaps a suitable pol would hire you to do that? Or is that even something you'd like to do?

  7. if it meant i got to archive more molly ivins along with anything else, i'd love it! but yeah, otherwise i'm not sure i can be counted as reliable.

  8. So, if it's the image of a child, are they arrested for child pornography?

    The law seems to indicate that the screeners should be, given the absurd way in which it is written.

    Seems to me that it can only be used to scan adults who sign a release, since we have "to protect the children".



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