Fifty Ways... Parody Doggerel

What would it sound like if we could listen in on Karl Rove's... seduction... of a new operative? (This looks best with a maximized window on a 1280-x-something display.)

Fifty Ways to Lose Your Conscience

"The problem is all inside your head,"
    Karl said to me;
"The answer is easy if you
    Act remorselessly;
I'd like to help you to
    Accept the GOP,
There must be...
    Fifty ways to lose your conscience."

He said "It's always been my habit to be blunt;
Furthermore, I hope that my directness
    isn't an affront;
But I'll repeat myself
Just in case that dog won't hunt,
There must be fifty ways
    to lose your conscience;
    Fifty ways to lose your conscience.

(chorus)
Just switch off some votes, Coates;
Break a few rules, Jules;
Issue some threat, Rhett;
    Now listen to me...
Bribe a guy with a car, Carr,
No need to go too far,
Just drop off their fee, Gee,
    And get yourself... free.

(repeat chorus)
Ooh, switch off some votes, Coates;
Break a few rules, Jules;
Issue some threat, Rhett;
    Now listen to me...
Bribe a guy with a car, Carr,
No need to go too far,
Just drop off their fee, Gee,
    And get yourself... free.

Karl said "It mustn't grieve you seeing peasants all in pain,
I'm certain something I can do will make you cold again."
I said "I appreciate that.
And would you please explain
    About the fifty ways?"

Karl said "why don't we both just sleep on this tonight, check your
Pockets in the morning, everything will be all right." And then he
Bribed me, and I realized he probably was right,
There must be...
    Fifty ways to lose your conscience,
    Fifty ways to lose your conscience.

(chorus)
Just steal a few votes, Coates,
Break a few rules, Jules,
Make a new threat, Rhett,
    Now listen to me...
Look, here's your new car, Carr,
You'll be like a rock star,
Just do what I say, Jay,
    You'll never be... free.

— SB the YDD

A huge H/T to Mr. Simon for writing the perfect vehicle for this parody!